I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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