dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she looked like the before picture.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
