i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm like, not good at living.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
