Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
