She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
