is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
