please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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