He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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