Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
