just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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