we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize