eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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