Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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