i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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