i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
