I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
