saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
