Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
