Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
