So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
