So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize