He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
