so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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