i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
