google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think your dad took our porno
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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