matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
