waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
