yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
