i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Small penises have feelings too.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
