P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
