My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
