Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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