Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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