I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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