Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do herpes really smell.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
