when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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