dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
