dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
