:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
