I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
