Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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