Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
