just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
