I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
