Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
