well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
