just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
