I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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