yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
