Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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