I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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