Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
