I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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