Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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