If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
