"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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